Aug 27, 2010
Having said that, staying married to my wife has been one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life.
And I know she says the same thing about me.
This could be said about every single married couple out there.
When Helen and I first got married, one of my mentors told me something that has saved my married. I want to share it with you because I know it will save your marriage as well.
Because we're all sinful and selfish creatures, we will hurt each other. This is not a matter of if, but a matter of how many times we are going to hurt each other on a daily basis.
So, the next time your spouse hurts you, I want you to say the following three things: 1) I know you love me, 2) I know you didn't do this intentionally to hurt me, 3) So I will give you the benefit of the doubt.
1. I know you love me - This is where we start. All marriages start here. We get married because we love each other.
2. I know you didn't do this intentionally to hurt me - most of the time, your spouse will hurt you and they will have no clue that they hurt you. You will be hurt just the same, but you need to know that your spouse did not intend to hurt you.
All couples get to a point where they are so mad and so hurt that they will say and do things to hurt their spouse. That's what sinful people do. All couples do that at one time or another.
However, if you find yourself in a relationship where this is the pattern, please listen. Get counseling. Your are walking on thin ice. If you and your spouse regularly hurt each other intentionally, you are not far from breaking your marriage. Please get counseling right now when you have the chance to fix it.
3. So I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt - Listen, if you jump on your spouse every time they hurt you, you are going to fight all the time. Because we are all sinful and selfish creatures, our relationships and marriages will need some breathing space.
When your partner hurts you, give them grace. Know that 1) they love you, 2) they didn't do this to intentionally hurt you, so 3) give them the benefit of the doubt.
This is huge. If you do this, you will both save your marriage and a ton of heartache.
It's worked for Helen and me for the past 16 years. I dare you to try it!
1. I know you love me.
2. I know you didn't do this to intentionally hurt me.
3. So I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt.
at 12:26 AM