Oct 16, 2008

It's a strange thing - lately, I feel like there has been something missing from my life. I don't know what you call it - it's that spark, that passion, that unbridled hope that God can do anything - I know I once had it. It's not there anymore. I am not sure how you get it back. All I know is that it's not there.

I wonder why that is. It's the same God I serve. I have no doubts about God. God hasn't changed.

It must be me. I am not sure if I have changed. My faith in God is still the same as it was before. But I guess what I can say is that my heart has been hurt, that I've gone through disappointments.

But everyone goes through disappointments. Every one goes through hard times.

All I know is that I want that spark back. I want to know how to get it back. I want that unbridled passion. I want that exhilerating joy that comes from knowing that God is in control and that I am right where God wants me to be doing what He wants me to be doing.

If you're reading this, pray with me and help me to hear God's guidance.

3 comments:

Janet said...

I am praying with you and for you. Trinity and our community are so
blessed to have you here. Some just need more time to mature to understand just how blessed they are...but when they realize it...they will explode with passion to serve like we have never seen before! And I can't wait to see it myself!

James said...

Thanks Janet.

miggy said...

If it's truly "God" that gives us passion...if it's because of what He has done for us that makes us sacrifice and commit our time for Him or keeps us awake at wee hours in the evening on our knees praying, then I believe you need to find God in the very thing that you are doing. Sometimes we loose our sight of Him and the simple fruits/victories that God creates when we serve Him and instead we become caught up in trying to reach for or attain a bigger goal, a higher result which ultimately still only God can do...so we become disheartened, confused, dispassionate, and lost. After reading your last three posts, your heart resounds loudly of a man who needs to see the simple victories (they may seem small, but in reality, they are enormously life changing)...just like what goes on in the little Alaskan village.